seriously. I don't know wats going on. I feel like my head is not me. I mean I don't know what is happening in my head, I feel reely focused out in the ship when things ar moving fast right now but wen I am home I just can't think cleerly and I shake because I think I want to be back out in the ship but im not reely sure cause I nevr felt this before.
And sometimes it helps me to just you know talk to the person in the mirror. Like tell them to get there stuff together. But last night she just turned away from me when I was talking to her.
I don't know wats going on I never saw the world like this before and sometimes is not easy to understand. But I am going to get myself thru this and she will listen. she will need to. and she will.
I need to sleep but something is not letting me in my head.
I am lonely sometimes and Vi is upset too but i dont think i am getting out of hand like she says and it's nothing I do its just things always happen to me I can't control.
It is just a phase right? it won't last? but I fly better now, I am not afraid of things right now. and everything moves so fast. I can keep up. I can.
