Elanore: I a little confused and don't understand...

seriously. I don't know wats going on. I feel like my head is not me. I mean I don't know what is happening in my head, I feel reely focused out in the ship when things ar moving fast right now but wen I am home I just can't think cleerly and I shake because I think I want to be back out in the ship but im not reely sure cause I nevr felt this before.
And sometimes it helps me to just you know talk to the person in the mirror. Like tell them to get there stuff together. But last night she just turned away from me when I was talking to her.
I don't know wats going on I never saw the world like this before and sometimes is not easy to understand. But I am going to get myself thru this and she will listen. she will need to. and she will.

I need to sleep but something is not letting me in my head.
I am lonely sometimes and Vi is upset too but i dont think i am getting out of hand like she says and it's nothing I do its just things always happen to me I can't control.
It is just a phase right? it won't last? but I fly better now, I am not afraid of things right now. and everything moves so fast. I can keep up. I can.

Perimiter Jita Gate pileup this morning

Fleeted with Chris and went to shoot a Tower in 7-K5EL with GENTS!

Back at Donkey station after the killing! Still all pumped up. grrrrrrrufff


Pics of the big BOOM BOOM! :)
Hope u liek them
(remember u just hav to click on the pics to enlarge them :)

ELA

Approaching the event and the victim in my Drake


Chris Goh is shooting stuff frum His Raven


Me shooting at the tower


Lots of GENTS firepower


A FEW SNAPSHOTS as the tower explodes!!!!





We then went on to shoot other mods that were around the tower. It was beautiful :)


As soon as all the targets were destroyed the GENTS warped away in unison. wish I had gotten a shot of that too. They had a real look of powerful meaningful unison in that.

ಠ_ಠ .♫ ♪ ♩ ♪ ♩♫ ♩

Narcotics, Manufacturing components, Null sec and a series of unfortunate events.

TODAY
[Nightwing Corp Channel]

Chris Goh > juz match the price in contracts
Chris Goh > o/ el
Sumela Allas-Rui > will do then
Chris Goh > kk...thanks
Sumela Allas-Rui > i was not sure about those 2, as the one seemed good for when we build caps
Elanore Wansmore > \o
Sumela Allas-Rui > hi elanore
Elanore Wansmore > where do you want this stuff Chris?
Chris Goh > juz pass it to me
Chris Goh > how much do I owe you?
Chris Goh > juz put it in the trade window
Elanore Wansmore > it was just shy of 1.1 mil
Chris Goh > i juz based on dod's price
Chris Goh > 1.2 mill
Elanore Wansmore > k
Chris Goh > click accept...
Sumela Allas-Rui > I will be in donkey in about 10
Chris Goh > thanks...
Sumela Allas-Rui > will pass the bps then
Chris Goh > sure...Sumela
...
Chris Goh > think I will call it a nite
Chris Goh > o7
Sumela Allas-Rui > night
Sumela Allas-Rui > and just was i was going to donkey xd
Elanore Wansmore > I am the only one in donkey right now.
Sumela Allas-Rui > I was going to pass him some t2 rig bps
Elanore Wansmore > thinking of knocking off a liquor store while no one is around to catch me
...
Sumela Allas-Rui > need a corpse?
Elanore Wansmore > always
Sumela Allas-Rui > i got one in home system too, the poor bloke we podded
Elanore Wansmore > wow, that was quick and easy
Sumela Allas-Rui > lol
Elanore Wansmore > I didn't even know you were here yet
Sumela Allas-Rui > I am fast frigates
Elanore Wansmore > so that liquor store is off the 3rd concourse on lvl 32
Sumela Allas-Rui > haha
Elanore Wansmore > they are having some power issues there with the lights too. so if we dress dark the cam pics might be obscured
Sumela Allas-Rui > too bad I cant go. I am logging to try to sleep
Elanore Wansmore > I wunder if Chris would approve? :p
Elanore Wansmore > oh, ok
Sumela Allas-Rui > Well, what he dosent know :P
Sumela Allas-Rui > good night, and hope you get your liquor
Elanore Wansmore > we're knocking off a liquor store, robbing it, not partying.
Elanore Wansmore > Sumela?
Elanore Wansmore > Where'd she go?
Elanore Wansmore > (sigh)
Elanore Wansmore > I need to score some isk :(

PRIVATE CHAT with Violet just following that conversation with Sumela and Chris
{what happened and what led to this}

Elanore Wansmore>Violet?
Violet Aeon > You left 2 nights ago while I was sleeping
Elanore Wansmore > hi Vi
Violet Aeon > where'd u go?
Elanore Wansmore > I had something to do
Violet Aeon > you in null?
Elanore Wansmore > ya, I made a run for Chris
Violet Aeon>send a pic, I want to see you.

Violet Aeon>You went dark?
Elanore Wansmore> I, um, I got something in the works maybe. Dark prob works best.
Violet Aeon>You look, um, tired. What's going on?

Elanore Wansmore > I messed up bad Vi.
Violet Aeon > oh no
Elanore Wansmore > I didn't die tho
Violet Aeon > um, ok?
Elanore Wansmore > I am broke Vi
Violet Aeon > well you been there before
Elanore Wansmore > I know but I was sort of messed up, and Chris wanted theeze components something or other stuff and I sed I was going to null and woud bring some for him. and he said he alreddy put it in Airaken for me but I missed that part cause I was distracted.
Elanore Wansmore > so I bot it myself and put it in the ship
Violet Aeon > he will reimburse you
Elanore Wansmore > yeah, then I was goin to time the null run when there was less people in the systems and so I was flying to Airaken to wate
Violet Aeon > smart
Elanore Wansmore > but somewhere on the way I passed out while flying and some rats shot my ship up and I lost the ship and the components
Violet Aeon > (sigh) worse has happened
Elanore Wansmore > yeah but when I came too I was still all messed up and didn't notice I was even in my pod and clicked autopilot the rest of way and fell asleep
Elanore Wansmore > so then I got to Airaken and docked and went rite to quarters to finish sleeping it off. wen I woke up I remembered that Chris said he put some of that stuff there for me to transport, so I found the contract and accepted it
Elanore Wansmore >Vi? are you still there?
Violet Aeon > ya
Elanore Wansmore > well so I went to hangar and all I saw was my pod floating there and remembered I lost my ship and I didn't have any more isk so I sold the wardrobe I had on me for Ok isk because it goes for decent money here cause there's none to buy.
Violet Aeon > slow down. the point?
Elanore Wansmore > the point is I was naked in Airaken with no ship Vi.
Violet Aeon > ok, check wallet
Elanore Wansmore > no, no, thank you but this was all yesterday and I could not get hold of u
Violet Aeon > I am face palming this right now you know
Elanore Wansmore > no, rite, yeah, let me finish

Elanore Wansmore > so I got real bummed out and called someone I knew in station and worked a deal out with him because he needed some narcotics transported to Jita and if I got it there I could split the take with him but I still didn't have a ship so I stole a shuttle and took off for Jita. then halfway there Concord scanned me and found the narcotics, but I was rite at gate so I made the jump anyway then shot to a nearby 0.4 to wait it out
Elanore Wansmore > well there was a gate camper there, but I knew him because he was a customer at that place I used to dance at so he didn't kill me. but he demanded some narcotics as ransom so I gave some to him and he let me hang there until Concord left
Violet Aeon > annnnd, you are still naked at this point?
Elanore Wansmore > well ya, well mostly, but I never left the ship. and you know how I hate those nasty Minmitar ships
Violet Aeon> well u could have let him pod u and then you would have been right back at Avele for free.
Elanore Wansmore> but I would have lost the narcs and only had a velator to fly after that. And, well, I'll get back to why that won't work anymore rite now
Violet Aeon> hmmm, ok
Elanore Wansmore> and I coudnt get hold of u
Violet Aeon> I have been indisposed
Elanore Wansmore> ? You didn't answer any of my calls...wait you been with Zona again? omg, I can't believe...
Violet Aeon> quit it. I been mining and my comm is out in the Retty till a part comes in , you know that and some of us work for a living.
Elanore Wansmore> don't make me feel bad this is hard enough
Violet Aeon> not my intent but go on
Elanore Wansmore> you really not seeing Zona right?
Violet Aeon>!!!

Elanore Wansmore>ok, so after a while I left and split to Jita. I made it in and hit my captains quarters where I had clothes then went to find the contact so I could drop the narcs and collect the isk. That all went ok and so I bought another ship and went back to Airaken. But when I got there the components Chris contracted me were gone because I left my hangar open and someone stole them or something. I don't know, they were just gone. And I didn't have the isk to both pay my narc contact here and buy more so I split real quicklike and went back to Jita with his isk to buy more components for Chris with it.
Violet Aeon> Does this end?
Elanore Wansmore> This is tough enough Vi, stop it and almost yes. pleeze can I finish?
Violet Aeon> ya

Elanore Wansmore> So I start getting calls from my narc contact cause he saw I was in Airaken and then left again without getting hold of him so he's wondering what's up. so I don't answer the calls. I just Bought Chris's stuff again and make destination for Null sec, avoiding Airaken system. Oh god the wardecers were trying to shoot me all the way there! and I am a nervous wreck right about then but I make it to sys and dock and I was real stressed so I sold a couple skill books Chris gave me and went to the club
Violet Aeon> is not getting happy about how this is ending and is worried now.
Elanore Wansmore> well I was real stressed and so at the club there wasnt many peeps there cause it's in Vale ya know? but they were all doing DROP and so I joined them
Violet Aeon> OMG!!! what the...
Elanore Wansmore> It's all good! I woke up today alive and unharmed in my quarters but I don't remember what happened or how I got back here. but I had flashing messages so when I listened to them they were all from my narc contact in Airaken and he's not very happy and said he is sending someone after me if I don't come up with the isk.
Violet Aeon> ok, I'm not very rich anymore and I can't keep doing this but...
Elanore Wansmore> No No, I got hold of Chris and he bought the stuff I brought for him so I got 1.2 mil now which is only 500G's short of what I owe my contact.
Violet Aeon> ok I put 2 mil in your account a little while ago. Pay him off and make sure he calls off his thug
Elanore Wansmore>K
Violet Aeon>Then JC back to hi sec and get here and stay for a while.
Elanore Wansmore>I moved my home to Null and forgot to put a JC in Avele again too so I need to try to make a run again I guess.
Violet Aeon> whatever it takes
Elanore Wansmore>but I forgot to upgrade my med clone so if I die I lose xp and my brain is already fuzzy right now. I don't know how I would be after that. It might take a while to get back to normal.
Violet Aeon> (sighs) here's more isk for that. Please get here.
Elanore Wansmore> I will be there as soon as I can
Violet Aeon>Be careful
Elanore Wansmore>I will
Violet Aeon> (sigh)

Someone wasn't watching where they were going !

Elanore's Bio

Elanore's getting into the mode of null sec her own way . I'm not saying anything, to each their own! :)


BIO:
"OK you pieces of shit mother raping losers. My goal here IS to die! So shoot the hell out of me you lame sonofabitch. I wanna see what u got and I'm not even going to fire back piss ant. Instead i'm gonna sit here while you shoot me and I will get all wet and scream how much it feels good and tell you that you need to hit me harder if you wanna GET ME OFF!
You hear that loser? Hit me HARDER!!!!!
Ela"